Growing up as members of the royal family, Prince William and Prince Harry experienced anything but a typical childhood. From their parents’ public divorce to the tragic loss of their mother, the two brothers faced enormous challenges early in life.
Although they’ve often spoken about how they leaned on each other during tough times, a former royal aide claims their relationship wasn’t always smooth—especially with William’s future as king creating a natural divide between them.
Harry’s Early Feelings of Being Second Best
Paul Burrell, Princess Diana’s former butler who started working in royal service at the age of 18, had a front-row seat to the upbringing of the princes. In the Channel 5 documentary The Palace: What the Royal Servants Saw, Burrell shared how young Harry often felt overshadowed by William’s position as the heir.
“I heard one of the nannies say to William, ‘I’m going to give you three sausages, William. You need to grow big and strong, because you’re going to be king one day,’” Burrell recounted, according to Express. He described Harry’s reaction as heart-wrenching: “Poor Harry’s face across the table. I looked at him [and knew he was thinking], ‘Why did you get three sausages and I got two?’”
Burrell believed this sense of inequality followed Harry into adulthood. “I met both William and Harry in their early 20s, at a polo match, and chatted to them… You could see that Harry always felt he was in second place,” he said.
A Complex Personality Beneath the Surface
Royal biographer Robert Jobson also offered his perspective on Harry’s emotional struggles. “Even though he had this persona of being this happy-go-lucky guy that was well respected, the reality, I think, is that he always had a complex character,” Jobson said. “He was always struggling with the idea of the service, of having a public role.”
Harry Opens Up About His Painful School Years
Harry himself has acknowledged the strain in his relationship with William. In a 2023 interview with Anderson Cooper, as reported by Hello! Magazine, Harry discussed their time together at Eton College. He revealed how, during his first days there, William distanced himself.
“At the time, it hurt. I couldn’t make sense of it. I was like, ‘What do you mean? We’re now at the same school,’” Harry recalled, explaining how William had asked him to pretend they didn’t know each other.
In his memoir Spare, Harry shared that sports helped him cope and find a sense of belonging. “I played every dry sport, though rugby captured my heart. I simply didn’t feel pain the way other boys did, which made me scary on a pitch,” he wrote.
A Bond Shaped by Royal Expectations
Although William and Harry shared the same household and upbringing, the expectations placed on them were vastly different. As the heir, William often received privileges that, however subtle, left lasting impressions on Harry. And while Harry embraced the role of the “spare” with humor and resilience at times, the emotional toll it took is evident through his reflections and the words of those who knew him during those formative years.
Their story is not just one of royalty—it’s also one of sibling rivalry, personal identity, and the burden of duty.