We’ve all seen it before — maybe it’s a guy lounging on the sofa with his hand casually tucked into his sweatpants, or someone at home watching TV, completely unaware they’re doing it.
What might surprise some people is that women do it too — and not in a sexual way.
This came to light when one woman on Reddit asked if other women also rest their hands in their pants or waistband while relaxing.
She explained:
“Technically, I know the answer is yes, because I’m a woman and I do. But I’ve only ever heard this talked about as a male stereotype.”
The question sparked a flood of responses:
- “I often sit on the couch with one hand tucked into my waistband… my pockets are too small for my hands,” one person wrote.
- Another added, “I feel most comfortable when my hand’s in my underwear, near my hipbone.”
- “My partner used to think I was secretly… you know. But nope, just chillin’,” someone else admitted.
So, why do people do it?
According to chartered clinical psychologist Dr. Linda Blair, it’s actually a form of self-soothing — not too different from holding a childhood blanket or sucking your thumb as a kid. Society might judge it more harshly, but the underlying comfort factor is the same.
Body language expert Martin Brooks says there’s also a biochemical reason: the physical contact can trigger the release of oxytocin, nicknamed the “love hormone.” Oxytocin is linked to feelings of trust, calm, and psychological stability.
In fact, Brooks notes that even actions like stroking your beard can release oxytocin in the same way.
Counsellor Lisa Spitz agrees that it’s “rarely done in a sexual way” and is more often an unconscious act of comfort — though she points out that, yes, sometimes it can be perceived as sexually forward.
The takeaway?
Whether you’re male or female, resting your hand in your pants isn’t necessarily about arousal — for most, it’s just a comfort habit. Still, it’s probably best saved for the sofa at home rather than the conference room at work.